This excerpt from my book, Overcoming A Mysterious Condition, deals with anger. It comes from chapter 17, page 209, “My Experience with Anger.”
How many times do we hear reports of someone snapping and doing something horrible to other people? The news reporters interview people close to that individual and everyone acts as if this was beyond comprehension. However, no one sees what is going on right before their eyes. We are often too unconscious to see it in ourselves. We wish not to see it building up in others, and even if we did, most have no idea how to help someone walk through the fire. They are far too busy sending memes online that do little to help humanity.
Teach Yourself How To Deal With Anger
If you have been through this in your life, you may realize that you must teach yourself how to deal with anger. If you are like me, you may come to understand that what you were taught and shown about anger while growing up has no healthy basis for what you do in life.
It is not an easy road because if you employ a numbing consciousness of only being positive or having happy thoughts, you’re causing your body internal harm by ignoring anger. Yes, many convince themselves that this is the way out, but I know from firsthand experience that it is not. What we don’t deal with in the body, the body stores and turns on itself. This energy looks for an exit but often hides within the cells and tissues. Anger that is unreleased is very harmful to the cells and tissues of the body. If we don’t deal with anger, it will cause many mental and physical and emotional issues.
Often right below the anger, there is deep sadness, hurt, and pain. Sometimes we’re taught that the only way to deal with it is by suppressing it.
Rather than allowing ourselves to go in and touch the innermost corners of anger, we act as if it does not exist. We exclaim that we are happy, and that anger is wrong. Unfortunately, as much as we think we are right, we are only fooling ourselves.
Most of us have few people who understand and can help them walk through the healing journey from anger that’s consuming their lives. It is easier to think happy thoughts or act as if anger does not exist than it is to confront it, deal with it, and find healing. Our go-to choice of dealing with anger is avoiding it.
We Lack Healthy Skills
All too often, we don’t have healthy skills for releasing anger. We were not taught appropriate anger releasing techniques. We often saw our caregivers show anger in ways that weren’t healthy, or downright inappropriate. When we grow up in a world where anger is an unhealthy norm, we become so afraid of it and so unsure of what to do with it. It becomes what we know to do, not what we have discovered is a healthy way to release it.
At times, people explode and then we’re shocked and surprised. At times, people fly off the handle and they feel horrible afterward. More commonly, you can see anger in everyday behavior.
While anger is a valid emotion, it can often be misused and mishandled. It is in that essence that we need to begin to learn how to handle the explosive side of anger.
Make sure you read more on dealing with anger in the world by reading the blog post on how we ignore anger (posted on May 15, 2019). Also, check out chapter 17, “My Experience With Anger” in my book, Overcoming A Mysterious Condition.