Normal Or Abnormal – Father Was In Poor Health

Normal Or Abnormal – Father Was In Poor Health

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Normal Or Abnormal – Psychological Control And Isolation

All my life my father was in poor health. I remember very few days where my dad didn’t have some ache, pain, or health issue.

I am not blaming him for having health issues, but it impacted life in big ways for me.  My father was in poor health for much of my life.  The experiences he dealt with were how life and people treated or responded to him and how he responded to his children and family.

From major back pain and migraine headaches to various injuries, it seemed like he was always on the prayer list at the churches we attended. I’ve seen him fall from a roof. He’s fallen from the top of a truck. There was a time that he had a wire go into his foot while mowing the lawn, and a time when his thumb almost got severed completely in a tractor PTO shaft. Even when I was born, he was in the hospital with hepatitis.

My Father Was In Poor Health

Most of my life, I saw him cared for and in poor health. I remember having to tip toe around the house and not make any noise because of migraine headaches. I remember seeing him have to take comfortable lawn chairs to church with pillows so he could sit through a church service. It always made me feel so awkward because other kids weren’t having to carry this stuff around to church. I never understood it at the time.

Of course, then he figured out my touch had something to it and so I often would have to give him back and neck rubs. It wasn’t that I wanted to do it. It was more that I had no choice. Of course, these things would often lead to sexual activities especially if no one else was around. I still struggle with that to this day. It has clouded my view of what the healing world looks like and I don’t think many even understand what that means.

Mayo Clinic Said It Was All In His Head

Some of what he went through most likely could have been changed from what I have now learned in my life.  I remember when he went for testing to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN and this was brought front and center.  The doctors told him that there was nothing physically wrong with him because it was all in his head.  Okay, I’m not sure if that is exactly the way the doctors stated this, but that is what he shared with us.

Granted, to tell someone that it is all in their head isn’t the best piece of medical advice a doctor can give.  Many do it when they have no clue how to help a patient or when a patient often doesn’t want to listen.  I understand the struggle in stating these things.

Many Don’t Search The Right Places

Unfortunately many doctors don’t know they can find answers, from healers the likes of Dr. Paul Canali or Dr. John Sarno.  While they may not have all the answers, they definitely have a lot of healing potential that can be helpful. 

I remember seeing my dad with so much anger and so many emotional issues.  I was just a kid but I could see this in him as he sat in his chair watching TV at night.  His hands and fists would be clenched.  His body posture was one of rigidity.  His rage and abusive actions codified what I saw in him. 

While he could have gone and kept searching for help, he gave up like most.  He blamed the psychiatrists and counselors for his issues, rather than doing the hard work required.  I know it isn’t easy to deal with what life has thrown at you, but hiding from it wrecks the mind and body in ways most medical doctors do not understand.

You Have To Deal With Experiences

It was a different time and I think we’ve come a long way in realizing that experiences of the past need to be dealt with in our lives.  Yet so many still seem oblivious to that and they continue to show their past trauma in how they interact with everyone they meet. 

It’s just like how my father not dealing with poor health affected his family in many ways.  If you want to read more about that, check out my book, Overcoming A Mysterious Condition.

I believe we’re put on this planet with a life’s journey to live with things to learn.  Through struggles and challenges, we either move forward or we lash out at others, abusing them every step of the way.  It isn’t easy to deal with what life has thrown at us, but we hurt others greatly when we use it as weapons against those we say we care for and love.

BLOG SERIES: Normal Or Abnormal

Part 1: List Of Unbelievable Experiences

Part 2: Emotion, Hugs, Affection

Part 3: Father Was In Poor Health

Part 4: Boundary And Privacy Issues

Part 5: Sabotaging Self-Care

Part 6: Dealing With Stress Effectively

Part 7: Agonizing Pet Abuse

Part 8: Psychological Control And Isolation

Part 9: Explosive Rage & Domestic Violence

Part 10: Sexual Abuse Is Devastating

Photo Credit: Photo by Ben Hershey on Unsplash

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