I remember being stuck in healing. It is easier to see it now than when I was in the middle of it.
I think we all get stuck in healing at times. It is part of the logical progression through this journey where there are no step-by-step instructions. We sort of have to find our way in the dark.
In one case, though, I remember wanting to get past a situation I was facing. In this circumstance, a rash was showing up as a result. It was a body memory of something that was horrible. In fact, it was too horrible to face.
The Body Rash
My body went for several weeks with a rash that covered almost every square inch. The rash would move from area to area, almost changing before my eyes. It was horrifying because I could not leave the house and it freaked me out! Nothing that I could buy over-the-counter worked. The only thing that gave me any comfort was oatmeal baths.
At first, I could not see what was causing this. I would have been hard pressed to state that I was stuck in healing, although I was. Then, the images came and the nightmares. The emotions began to gush out of me as if I had no way to stop them. The story emerged, which I’ve only shared with a few people.
Stuck In Healing And Needing Help
Once that happened, the rash began to shift. I was able to go see Dr. Canali. I’ll never forget the 270-mile-long drive to see him. It was excruciating and frightening and exhausting. I grounded up oatmeal to take with me, and the minute I got to the hotel, I ran the water and dumped it in. As I sat in the oatmeal bath, I felt it was soothing for me.
Sleep was difficult that night and by the time of the appointment with Dr. Canali, my anger level was at an all time high. I remember walking into his office and as I laid there on the table, something happened. Dr. Canali grabbed my hand in a very strong and supportive way and said the words I will never forget. “We will get through this together!”
As I look back, that’s the true moment where I was no longer stuck in healing. I didn’t have the strength to endure this moment alone and I wasn’t sure how to get there. I trusted Dr. Canali enough to help guide me through this, and he trusted his heart and intuition to be there walking the path together.
It did not take long that day for the rash to physically change. I could not believe my eyes that in a couple of hours, what once had felt impossible began to heal before my eyes. I was no longer stuck in healing with the rash. (See also, Healing Ice Bath For The Rash).
Don’t Get Lost In It
Sometimes, we face those moments where we cannot go into the healing moment we need or we chase things that don’t truly help us. I remember Dr. Canali telling me by phone not to get too lost in the rash, which was easier to hear than to practice.
There are many ways we get stuck in healing and this is only one of those. I had many more times where I didn’t feel like I was moving forward in my journey.
Sometimes even though it feels like we may be stuck in healing, it may very likely be that we’re gathering the strength to move forward. Sometimes, what seems stuck, is our step-by-step progression to discovering what it is that we are facing.
Be Brutally Honest
The most important thing when you fell stuck in healing is to be brutally honest with yourself. Are you avoiding healing? Have you stopped feeling in your body? Are you truly seeing where you are or have you hoodwinked yourself into an alternate reality?
Each one of us knows the truth, but sometimes it takes that additional skilled person helping us to walk through the fire. Sometimes it requires that we evaluate what we are doing and go further than our comfort and courage would like us to go. Sometimes, we need to let go of our healing beliefs and practices so we find what is waiting for us.
I know none of this is easy. I have far too many medals for the competitions I competed in during these times. There are far too many moments where I was stuck in healing, but as I found when I was paralyzed – I had to give up all that I knew to find out what was truly helpful.